She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
