Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I am spending my child support on dildos
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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