The best revenge is premature balding
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize
