the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
