no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
