Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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