I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
