I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
