thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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