Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
