Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
