yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
