I can tuck mytits in my pants
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
