just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
