so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
