Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This show inspires me to have sex in space
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
