I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
