I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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