I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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