i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Randomize
