But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
