I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
