My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My vagina is officially offended.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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