you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
