this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
