Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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