You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Randomize
