Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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