She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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