You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
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