Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There r osticjed everywhere
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just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
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I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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