Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
