the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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