he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
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Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
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yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He did a backflip because drugs
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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