I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
