So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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