My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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