I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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