We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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