Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
