I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Randomize
