Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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