yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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