Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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