Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
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I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
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Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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