new low.... made out with someone while peeing
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
