only if we run a train.
done.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
