so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
