**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
