hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
