i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
