Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
