you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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