She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
