tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
