i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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