i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
