If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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