you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
