im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
