your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
