I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
